Over the weekend I was talking to my current bf about his friendship with one of his ex. When they dated she was manipulating the relationship. One of his biggest problems is he doesn’t think before he acts that’s why that happened. Supposedly she's changed and they've been friends again for a year now. In the beginning of our relationship last summer he told me she wanted him back for a while. Because of that I absolutely loathe her for being such a skank then and now for wanting him back. And I loathe the friendship. Plus how can you stay friends with someone who supposedly wants you back while you’re in a new relationship? Over the weekend I told him again I’m uncomfortable with their friendship especially I’ve been led to believe for 6 months she wants him back. He told me that he was wrong to have said that without proof and that she doesn’t want him back. And he just tells me now? WTF?
He says she’s changed. If it’s true she hasn’t made an effort to get to know me to prove otherwise when his other friends have tried to get to know me. For 6 months I believed she's a threat. Result: I loathe her. I have 6 months worth of believing she hasn’t changed enough and still wants him back causing me to distrust her. Because I was “misled”, I spent all this time not wanting to get to know her. He's done something before where I can’t trust him, a story I mentioned on an earlier post.
I believe trust in a relationship is very important. Every time trust starts building up again he does something to break it. I won’t deny I may be wrong about how I feel, I just can’t help but feel if idk if I can trust him. I’ve told him before that an ex of my ex wanted him back and that partly ended the relationship. So when he told me that this ex wanted him back it freaked me out. What hurts is he let me believe it for 6 months. When I told him how uncomfortable I was with the friendship, he told me that had it been some other ex he'd maybe end the friendship, but the "circumstances are different" with this ex. Again WTF? He didn’t even explain what the circumstances were. Without an explanation I’m still uncomfortable. I’ve gotten obsessed with finding evidence of her signs of her wanting to spend even more time with him now that we’re engaged. Like she plays an online game that he plays a bit of and she "wants to go back to playing WoW," the game he mostly plays. And she wants him to listen to her radio show and always asks him every chance she could.
It hurts knowing that everything could be one big lie. What should I do?
*EDIT--After asking him about the circumstance of why he's still friends with this particular ex, he has told me that he continues the friendship because "she's changed". I'm still not wholely comfortable with it. And after requesting that we go to couples counciling, he was reluctant to agree saying that it wouldn't do much good. I'd still like advice on what you think I should do.
P.S. I appreciate everyone's advice and comments.
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